‘CHICAGO ZINE FEST 2013′ was a subject title shimmying through the inbox of my e-mail for most of the year. I would open one message or the next from time to time and read about the meetings, the bake sales, the readings. I would skim over the finer details, thankfully being sorted out by the dedicated CZF crew. I meant to be looking for the “RESERVE YOUR TABLE TODAY” e-mail. I meant to clear my weekend work schedule. I meant to find transportation and have a sack of crisp zines stapled and ready to go a month in advance.
CHICAGO ZINE FEST
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Upcoming Events // March
Fri Mar 8-9th I will attend and table at Chicago Zine Fest with Monster House Press
Then this reading (see flyer?) will happen where I live.
Fri Mar 15th I will read my poetry at The Owlery in Bloomington, IN
Thurs Mar 28th I will read poems at ILLIO w/ Rachel Lee, Richard Wehrenberg, Jr., Lauren Zuniga and one other TBA.
<3 Thank you for supporting me! <3
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The Hugmonster Lives Under My Bed is real!
With some cutting, folding, reckless sewing and the help of some good friends and family, there are now 35 copies of my first children’s book, The Hug Monster Lives Under My Bed. If you feel like sharing this link with folks who may have young ones at home or just appreciate handmade books, I would be very grateful! Click here for more information,
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DEMO DITCH MIX TAPE – 2012 THE HITS
This is a mix of some songs that struck me well in 2012. A lot come from bands that we (Delay) played with on tour. Some come from bands that I went out to see or booked in Columbus who gave memorable performances. A couple come from lot’s of time on the road with just a handful of CDs and iPods that hardly held enough for a drive to Cleveland and back. If I had a record label, I’d call it DEMO DITCH. It would house rare tracks from the underground and DIY music community. It would be a place to put bands with only one CDR or tape that sat in a shoebox that you didn’t realize was so great when you got it in trade. It would pump up current bands that I think are interesting and maybe overlooked. That’s what I want this tape to do. If you’d like me to mail you an actual tape or if your band wishes to be removed, get in touch. Enjoy.
////SIDE A
1.GOLDEN CLOUDS – Untitled (Brooklyn NY)
2.TECHNICOLOR TEETH – Crystalline (Appleton WI)
3.TARRED AND FEATHERED – Hot Pants (Greenville SC)
4.SECRET LOVER – Cynthia (Worcester MA)
5.PURPLE 7 – Poison Ivy (Bloomington IN)
6.THE VELVETEENS – Cico (Minneapolis MN)
7.HEAT DUST – Thick Distance (New Orleans LA)
8.BABY GHOSTS – The Ghost Next Door (Provo/Salt Lake City Utah)
9.TOYS THAT KILL – Ape Me (San Pedro CA)
10.FEVER NEST – Harsh Gas (Columbus OH)
11.BEST FRIENDS – Whatever Goes Upon Two Legs is an Enemy (Columbus OH)
12.FULL ON DWEEB – ? (Bay area CA)
13.JEFFERY FERNEGEL – Octopus Pills (Columbus OH)
14.THE BOY WHO COULD FLY – The Basement (Bloomington IN)
\\\\SIDE B
1.FROZEN TEENS – Kasota (Minneapolis MN)
2.RINGERS – Hurry Up and Wait (Boston MA)
3.TENEMENT – Perverse Universe (Appleton WI)
4.NASTY HABIT – Dog Bite (Columbus OH)
5.BAND NAME – King of Surfers (Philadelphia PA)
6.THE SIDEKICKS – Peacock (Columbus OH)
7.TIN ARMOR – The State of Things (Columbus OH)
8.SAINTSENECA – Mallwalker (Columbus OH)
9.EL JESUS DE MAGICO – Camelot V (Columbus OH)
10.SHAVER – Mental Convict (Columbus OH)
11.PRETTY PRETTY – Like Antiques (Columbus OH)
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lightning.yin.yang tape release 1/19

I’ve played electric guitar in a semi-experimental juvenile art punk family group for a few years now. Finally, our trio will have a gig to release our brand new cassette tape. Please consider attending. We may also have hand crafted patches available for the first time. There are home videos posted on the World Wide Web of our band if you would like to explore our sound prior to the concert.
Thank you,
L Y Y
Putting the yin yang back into lightning since the late 00′s.
Adrienne Rich, One Life
“One Life.”
My friend says this when her toes are at some edge– when the dark below can be downed in a gulp because the risk is worth it. You can say it in French if you need some extra oomf, Une Vie.
I found this poem at the public library in Toronto, flipping through Adrienne Rich’s Time’s Power: Poems 1985-1988. I was killing some time, out for a walk before my band’s set at a crummy punk tavern, hoping for some half page to hit me hard. I saw the title and I thought it might affirm my friend’s brave and careless motto. I was looking for some fuck it, let’s do it sentiment. In a way, I got what I wanted.
One Life
A woman walking in a walker on the cliffs
recalls great bodily joys, much pain.
Nothing in her is apt to say
My heart aches, though she read those words
in a battered college text, this morning
as the sun rose. It is all too
mixed, the heart too mixed with laughter
raucousing the grief, her life
too mixed, she shakes her heavy
silvered hair at all the fixed
declarations of baggage. I should be dead and I’m alive
don’t ask me how; I don’t eat like I should
and still I like how the drop of vodka
hits the tongue. I was a worker and a mother,
that means a worker and a worker
but for one you don’t pay union dues
or get a pension; for the other
the men ran the union, we ran the home.
It was terrible and good, we had more than half a life,
I had four lives at least, one out of marriage
when I kicked up all the dust I could
before I knew what I was doing.
One life with the girls on the line during the war,
yes, painting our legs and jitterbugging together
one life with a husband, not the worst,
one with your children, none of it just what you’d thought.
None of it what it could have been, if we’d known.
We took what we could.
But even this is a life, I’m reading a lot of books
I never read, my daughter brought home from school,
plays where you can almost hear them talking,
Romantic poets, Isaac Babel. A lot of lives
worse and better than what I knew. I’m walking again.
My heart doesn’t ache; sometimes though it rages.
With all that we carry, can it be just One Life? It is though– I mean, I think it’s one; the many is the one. We walk with our same heart between our same body walls. Growing, shrinking, thumping, crumbling. We don’t know what we’re doing. It’s nothing like we thought it’d be. If we’d known (better). We know more as the mighty reward if our minds and bodies make it. One life, with so many happenings, it is hard to say which one it is. The paths we walk mount each other, terrible and good. It rages.
RIP, Adrienne Rich May 16, 1929 – March 27, 2012
Filed under Poetry, Prose, Rambling
My new zines
* Disappearing Farmers Tan, Oct 2012, Monster House Press
21 poems full of Midwestern sentiment. Family, Cats, Kerouac, Death, Rock’n'Roll, Break-ups, Sun-shine and Strap-ons.
* MISSED YOU, Oct. 2012, self-published
Roughly 30 ‘fictional’ Craigslist missed connection posts. Love, lust, longing and laundry… plus Arnold Schwarzenegger’s package!
$4 per zine; this includes the postage. I’m open to deals for distros and trade. Get in touch with any questions. Paypal me by clicking the linked titles or mail check or concealed cash to: Ryan J Eilbeck 539 E. Town St. (Rear) Columbus OH 43215
Filed under Poetry, Prose, Rambling











