4/7/09 Buffalo, NY @ Sugar City
Letters To The Moon
Buffalo welcomed us with cold and snow. Maybe we should have expected it. The only way to fix the weather problem was to eat at Amy’s Place. We met Alex (Lemuria, AOTU) and Bif (Brown Sugar, Plates, Feral Kid Records) and chowed down in the comfort of high caliber company in a sweet little diner. The wind whipped thin snow flakes around outside. I sat enjoying an easy afternoon while coffee soaked my gut. Naturally, I had to poop soon after and with no lock on the door at Amy’s, I had to run upstairs to Alex’s apt. and hit the books. We relaxed at Alex’s. I took a shower for the first time on the tour. My eyes were very sensitive to the foreign substance known as soap. The show was @ a new Buffalo art/show space called Sugar City. It’s in the arts district; a colorful house converted into an intimate space. The people running it were kind and easy to talk to. I wasn’t in the best mood for interaction so it was nice that we could naturally have a conversation instead of totally forcing one. The show turn out was decent. We all hoped for a packed place since there was an awesome screen printed poster advertising it. That merits higher attendance!
Locals Iceberg began the show. They played bouncy piano pop.
American War played and then us. It was a short show. Our sets were fine, but Matt and I were both feeling like we were off. As we drove for the nasty, cheap craftings of “Mighty Taco” for a late snack, we talked about our sets. In Buffalo we felt like our confidence wavered. Matt described it as a loss in well intentioned cockiness and self assuredness. While I was playing, I started thinking and over thinking led to doubting my own ability. It’s like my skin had fallen off and everyone saw every short coming and insecurity I had about playing. It was a strange feeling of shame and hot cheeked embarrassment. What I want always is the unflinching, uncompromising presentation of art/music/expression from every part of me. I want the concrete knowledge that what I am doing is valuable, interesting, and maybe even captivating in some way. No self doubt. Matt put me at ease when he sited our mutual feelings as hard to swallow lessons that sit better once down and in the stomach. That’s how we grow. The stumbling struggle is part of the pursuit of any dream- even if that’s just playing well in Buffalo. My hand was cold; I’ll stick to that excuse.